Retarded Policeman #11: GILF

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[noise]

Intro: He is a cop and he's learning impaired. He's the retarded policeman. That's me. [noise]

Retarded Policeman: Step out of the vehicle sir.

Grandma: I don't have a vehicle, this is my walker.

Retarded Policeman: Then step out of your walker.

Grandma: I can't, I'll fall down.

Retarded Policeman: Why? Cause you're liquored up?

Grandma: I'm not intoxicated. I have arthritis.

Retarded Policeman: Then I have to give you a citation.

Grandma: For what?

Retarded Policeman: Driving without a car. And being old.

Grandma: Haven't you got anything better to do then harass the elderly?

Retarded Policeman: No, not really.

Grandma: I'm going to report you.

Retarded Policeman: To where? The crazy old ladies society?

Grandma: What is your name?

Retarded Policeman: First name Ima. Middle initial C. Last name Nahlady.

Grandma: I'm a senile lady?

Retarded Policeman: [laughs]

Grandma: You think that's funny? [laughs]

Retarded Policeman: Yes.[laughs]

Grandma: Well here is the kicker. [noise]

Retarded Policeman: Oh, nuts...

Grandma: You mess with me again and I'll hit you so hard, it'll kill your whole family. Pound. [silence]

Retarded Policeman: Hey wait. You're pretty tough for an old broad.

Grandma: And you're pretty smart for a retard.

Retarded Policeman: How would you like to give me a massage sometime?

Grandma: Thanks, but you're not my type.

Retarded Policeman: Oh, you're a lesbo?

Grandma: No, I only date black men.

Retarded Policeman: Oh, OK then. Bye.

Intro: [music][music][music][music][music][music][music]

Retarded Policeman: Hello world, Josh "The Ponceman" Perry here.

Mime: And I'm a mime.

Retarded Policeman: Mimes don't talk, jerk off. A lot of people ask me if I get paid for this. Yes I do. But you can help me make more money by clicking the subscribe button. It's free. Come on. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes and a gold watch. And some hookers.

Thanks for supporting retarded policeman. Bye. [music][music][music][music][music] [music] [silence]
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